so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
