He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
