wrigley field is MILF paradise
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
