Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize