i just sent this text using only my big toe
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
