Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
