I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize