He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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