It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
