Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I supernannyed him into submission
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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