butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
