Just cropdusted the office
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
