..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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