Little spoons don't ask big questions
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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