Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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