Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Randomize
