I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
