I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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