I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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