Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
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