so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
