You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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