Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
