i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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