If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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