Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
