As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
