I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
