Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
this hospital has no fireball
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
