I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
