I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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