Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
