She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
