Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
