Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
