No awkward lesbian experiences without me
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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