lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
