Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
