Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
