My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
