I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Randomize
