i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
