White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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