He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
