Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
