is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
