i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
