Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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