Ambien. No doubt about it.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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