I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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