Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize