So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
