I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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