i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
