Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
