I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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