why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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