just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
