She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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