what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
mondays should just be called national damage control day
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize