are you so shy because you have an std?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
