So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
